Experiments In Domesticity

Marriage, Motherhood & Modern Housewifery

Too Attached?

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When out and about with Ladybug in the carrier, I am often stopped by older women who exclaim about how much is available to mothers these days and how few options they had when they were raising their little ones. As I’ve stated in previous posts, I am not a believer that “more” necessarily equals “better”.

Many of the trappings of modern motherhood seem to be designed with the “busy” or “on-the-go” mother in mind and offer little for the developing child. Such is our mindset, women are expected to be juggling a home, family, partnership, and career, and also remembering to take time for themselves. Something inevitably gets left behind.

Attachment theory is not new and there is a slew of good, evidence-based information available explaining why the bond between an infant and a loving caregiver is vital in creating healthy, well-adjusted human beings. I believe this is important to keep in mind when evaluating any new or “essential” or “mom-approved” product. Is it going to promote the attachment bond or will it allow me to get further away from my baby?

Popular thought on parenting seems to prize independence – the earlier the better – with little regard for what is appropriate for the child. Of course, we all want to raise children who are independent, productive members of society. However, infancy and toddlerhood are not the time to seek independence. Children will gradually come to autonomy when it is appropriate – they do not need to be trained or pushed to do so.

I try to remember, when I just want an hour alone, that some day in the near future I may be wishing that my baby needed me a little bit more.

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